Think of your recovery like surfing a giant wave. As long as you’re concentrating on surfing that wave, (aka working on your recovery – going to meetings, talking to your sponsor, working your steps, staying in touch with your higher power), you’re balanced on your board, experiencing joy, and surfing the ultimate wave. But then your concentration breaks. You stop focusing on the wave and start paying attention to distractions around you. Maybe you start thinking about your romantic relationship, or how it’s going at work, or how you’re going to pay that next bill that’s due, or how that person you met last night perceived you, or some dumb joke you made that no one laughed at. It doesn’t matter what the distraction is, because as long as that distraction becomes more important than that wave you’re surfing, you’re going to lose focus. So you get distracted, you lose your balance, the wave breaks, and you come crashing towards the rocky shore.
If you regain focus quickly, you can jump back on your board, catch your breath, and paddle back out into the water to catch another wave. But if you lay on shore feeling sorry for yourself thinking, “I’m such a loser, how did I mess up that wave? I’ll never catch another wave like that one, I might as well just give up,” all is lost. Sure, you might have a moment or two on shore, beaten, battered, but still breathing. Laying there in the sand, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling crushed, but safe for the moment. But if you wait too long, another wave will inevitably come crashing into shore, catching you in its undertow and […]